Pilates

My dad used to compete in local power lifting competitions, mostly while I was elementary school age. Most of what I know about weightlifting, or at least most of my foundation, has come from or been influenced by him. But just how deeply those ideas were ingrained in me have only recently become evident.
Over the years, I've always looked at certain exercises that don't utilize resistance training, specifically weights, as sub-par or a waste of time when it came to building strength. And the desire to build strength is intertwined with any idea or thought I ever have about fitness, without me even thinking about it. Unfortunately, this has only lead me to pigeon hole and limit myself when it came to the tools I could use.

Since Jenny and I got married, she's gotten me to go through a particular Pilates workout, part of a 3 DVD set by Mari Winsor, about half a dozen times or so. To put it plainly, even if my ideas and thinking about fitness and training had not been evolving over the past few years, my mind still would have had as big a shock as my body did this morning and turned itself right around.

A simple 20 minute routine wiped me out and helped to ensure that I am engaging this whole process in absolute humility. For anyone who thinks Pilates and Yoga and other "fu-fu" programs and disciplines out there are easy, lame, a waste, only for bored women, not effective - you're wrong, and my cramping abs and sweaty mat are evidence.

It beyond humbling, it is degrading, to have your butt absolutely handed to you by something that for so long you dismissed as useless and sissy. Here is how hard it was for me, and will continue to be for at least a few weeks. Mari Winsor's star pupil sits front and center as the shining example of execution. Off to the side is Dabne, who demonstrates the modifications that can be used by those of us who are unable to perform the exercises as expected. I make Dabne look like a 12 year-old Chinese Olympic gymnast. I can't even keep up with the reserve squad! I'm this big pudgy ball of scrunched face and pinched fat and short breath. I'm about as flexible as a Southern Baptist, and my center of balance literally shifts with my belly. The instructor will set up each move, but my abs and back and neck are fatigued before she ever even tells us to start. I'm soon convulsing like a possessed epileptic, my stomach muscles from my ribs to my pelvis feel like they're melting, and Mari is just now peacefully informing us through a calm smile, "Let's start with our first of eight. And, go."

I'm (sort of) willingly going to do this again, and even try to make it a daily routine. At least I can use Brach as an excuse to stop the pain whenever he jumps on me and thinks we're wrestling.

Starting Stats

Here are my numbers to kick off this whole adventure from hell. I confirmed them all right before my workout today, which wasn't too strenuous, considering I feel about as in shape as a first-week contestant on The Biggest Loser and didn't want to overdo it.

Height: 6' 0"
Weight: 277 lbs.
BMI: 37.6 (Obese>29.9)
Body fat: TBA

Waste: 45.5"
Stomach @ belly button: 52"
Chest: 50"
Neck: 17"
Upper arm: 15" relaxed, 16.25" flexed
Forearm: 12.75"
Thigh: 28.5"
Calf: 16.25"

Body Mass Index
I included this "number", but honestly I think it's crap, and should not be used as it is for insurance ratings and other things. For example, if I were to shed 80 lbs. and drop to an even 200 lbs., I would still be considered overweight on the BMI scale. I would have to get down to a sickening 183 lbs. at my height to barely make the "normal" weight category. There is NO WAY I will EVER weigh that little. It would be unhealthy. I could carry no muscle weight, and I'd look like an AIDS patient. Yet, I'll never qualify for the lowest major medical premium unless I'm that thin. Ridiculous.

According to the website for the National Heart, Lung, and Blood Institute - Obesity Education Initiative, who's BMI calculator I used, here are the limits of the Body Mass Index:

BMI is a reliable indicator of total body fat, which is related to the risk of disease and death. The score is valid for both men and women but it does have some limits. The limits are:

• It may overestimate body fat in athletes and others who have a muscular build.
• It may underestimate body fat in older persons and others who have lost muscle mass.

That makes me feel a little better, even though it doesn't help with the insurance premiums. Regardless, I am a big fat fatty, and I need to get on it now. My 30th birthday is only 6 months away, and I have to consider the legitimate risks associated with obesity, outside of it hampering my ability to be as active and capable as I desire. Here is a WebMD page detailing some of the aforementioned risks.

I DO NOT want to do this...

I really don't, but I know that it necessary to get me going and keep me motivated. Unfortunately, embarrassment and shame are often our greatest motivators.

I am sharing my "Before Pics", which are normally shared along with the "After Pics". Please give me some credit. It either takes great courage or desperation for such a stunt. I'm putting them up now, in my blog, on the world wide web, where anyone can see them, where anyone can see what a fat pig I've become. I do not want to do this, because it is horrifying. I am embarrassed and disgusted by myself, physically. It is repulsive, and it is all the culmination of some of the most horrible parts of me - my self-indulgence, my lack of discipline, my laziness, my excuse-making.

But it has got to stop. And if this is the only way, then it has to be. If this is what discipline and accountability look like for me in this situation, then I'll do it.

Crap. Here they are:

Pictures Removed Due to Public Outrage

Ugh! If that don't motivate me, then I should just invest in a motorized cart and shoot for Jabba the Hut status, because I'm hopeless.

I'm off to a workout. Even though I played football all through the summer, I haven't lifted or done anything else for about 7 months. This is going to hurt. For days.

Getting Started

I have absolutely let myself go. I have lost control. I have abandoned discipline and common sense. I have used food for comfort, for stress-relief, for entertainment, for something to do, and I have eaten myself into a state of embarrassment, fatigue, and depression.

So, I am designating this as the official start of my revamp, my redo, my overhaul, my upgrade. We're doing away with the old model, and will be introducing Kyle 2.0 within the next few months.

I have been down this road before, with a lot of success, and I will do it again. It wasn't easy, and I was 10 years younger, but that's no excuse to just give up and be miserable like I have been for several months (OK, maybe years). I will be following this up with my current stats, specific goals, and timelines.

Here we go!