Day 3

Kyle 287.4 day -2.6 total -7.2

Jenny 164.6 day -1.4 total -2.0

Today started as well as the first two. On a humorous note, Jenny and I both dreamed about food. After visiting Findlay Market yesterday morning to buy some fresh produce, Jenny dreamed she was given money to spend on pastries at the market, and she was mad because she wasn't allowed to buy any sweets! I dreamed that I was in our kitchen, and chowed down on some chips and a bunch of honey peanut butter. After I put the leftovers back in the cupboard, I suddenly remembered that I wasn't allowed to eat that stuff. I was freaking out! Then I woke up, and had to remember that I had not cheated, and I felt much better.

I played keyboard for worship this morning (and last night), and I felt great through both services. Our pastor went long, and instead of getting home by 12:30, we weren't home until almost 1:30. I wasn't starving in the sense that my stomach was empty and growling, but I really wanted to eat. We tried something different for lunch in that we didn't measure out our vegetable. We each had our 3.5 oz. of chicken breast, coupled with an entire head of cabbage. I couldn't finish it! I bet I left 15% of the cabbage on my plate, and Jenny only ate half of hers! We were stuffed!

Now, as happy as I thought that would make me, I think it messed me up a bit. For the first time in three days, I was tired. I wanted to go lie down. Which I did. Which gave me time and silence to think about our couples bible study in the evening. Which put me in a foul mood picturing all of the great food that would be laid out on the table for everyone to eat after the study, and I wouldn't be allowed a single nibble of any of it. I was surprised by how angry I was! I eventually got up to get ready, and I told Jenny I didn't want to go, just because of the food. I was not looking forward to watching everyone eat LaRosa's pizza, and spaghetti, and garlic bread, and chocolate chip cookies, while I had to tell myself "NO" a hundred times. I really was just not in a good place, and it was all about the stupid food! I asked Jenny, "Okay, if I can't indulge in food, now what do I do when I want to make myself feel better?" I asked it with a laugh, knowing the base and immature reasons behind it, and knowing the answer already.

Couples bible study was a bit torturous, but Jenny and I both made it through. I know this is a challenge for her, but she's much less vocal. I did appreciate the support other members of the group gave us, and me specifically. I'm not looking forward to our next meeting in regards to the food (probably Mexican or something I absolutely love, topped off with something chocolate and peanut butter for dessert, made just for me by someone who didn't know that I'm on a specific and restricted diet, and that I can't have it, and then I sit and watch everyone else eat my dessert, MY dessert!), but I love my friends, so we'll be there.

Here's to pushing through! 39 days to go...